messed up

{04.06.2017}

You don't know anything about me or what goes through my head every day. You don't have any idea how often I consider what it would be like if I wasn't here...if I left. You'll never understand my self confidence issues.

You think you can just "you're perfect" or "you're so pretty" and you think I'll just believe it, but I can't. You just can't see the imperfections that I see in myself.

You'll never fully understand why I get so frustrated with myself.

You will never understand anything about me...my reasoning behind anything and everything. You think that when you ask, I'll tell you everything. But there's so much to it, so much that I can't put into words, or even into actions, other than that "my heart hurts." There is so much in my heart and in my head that will stay there for a long time because I don't know how to put it into words, and, more likely than not, you don't deserve the effort from me to that it takes to put my most painful emotions and feelings into a sentence that you could understand.