a million times

{02.23.2017}

Hearts are funny things. They make us feel things, no matter how well we know that we would be better off otherwise. They fall for certain people or things that we know we shouldn't, and they hurt themselves in the end. They fall and they break. Maybe that's why love is expressed as falling into it, because it doesn't always end well. Sometimes it ends in heartbreak, and we tell ourselves, "I knew it was going to end like this, so why did I fall to just break into a million pieces?"

Then there are the lucky ones, the ones that last, fall onto a pillow instead of a patch of pavement in the greener grass. The grass is always greener on the other side, isn't it?

But it's a never-ending cycle, a million times. Heartbreak after heartbreak, we fall again and again, but we still trust. Why? Haven't we had enough hurt? Apparently not, because we're still naive and tell ourselves that this one will be different. It won't hurt as bad as the last one did.

But it hurts. Once again, fate proving us wrong. Nothing lasts. And then...we give up. We're done trying and getting hurt. Hurt after hurt, break after break, piece by piece our hearts disintegrate until we give up. Until we're so broken and done caring.

Then, a miracle. Someone who cares. But we don't trust, too broken to care. And in the end, after so much heartbreak, we're too hurt to see the one instance that won't leave us heartbroken the same way the others did.