the truth sounds like hate

"the truth sounds like hate, to those who hate to hear the truth."

a broad statement, but it stood out in my mind. who are any of us, as humans, to decide what the truth is? we didn't create the world, but we are products of the world. we are created from our ancestors, generations of bloodlines that only increase as life goes on. but, none of those bloodlines created the world either. not a single generation in the history of existence, was capable of creating truth. and i've learned that it's a hard pill to swallow, to admit things as you learn. as you grow, as you come back to things you once stepped away from. the lives that we have lived are likely not ones that we are proud of, there are no sinless lives. but at some point, there has to be a quiet acceptance in seeing things in a different light. i still want to love people for who they are, accept them at face value, and allow them to live their lives without judgements. my beliefs are not something to be forced on them, but i feel that my beliefs can still allow me to love them, when there are decisions that don't affect me. there is a book written years ago, from prophets and followers of jesus. firsthand accounts, stories, parables. miracles. people that trusted fully in him were healed simply by knowing he could heal them if he only touched them, and he still does. he's still living, walking silently around us, performing the same miracles if we just call on him with the faith to help us.

and because of that, i've had to slowly start to see things differently again. my life is not my own, as long as i am following him. my opinions are not my own, as long as i am following him. my beliefs are not my own, as long as i am following him. instead, they are his. i am not called to be an advertisement for him, but to be a reflection. he didn't judge, he didn't spread hate, he welcomed everyone with open arms and he taught. there are parts of my past that i would not go back to, and there are chapters that simply exist as lessons. but as i learn, as i go forward into my life, i want to be able to fully abide by his teachings, his laws, his principles. and i want people in my life that do the same. i've learned that i've been drawn to certain people because of their light for him, their trust in him, those are the people that i want in my life. to grow with, to learn with, to walk with. and i know there's a lot to learn, but at some point i have to learn to be open and vulnerable, because there isn't room to allow him into a closed off and protected version of myself.