hailie

{04.23.2018}

I was beginning to get better, I was starting to think this was over. Until last week, there was something so out of the blue that I couldn't hold myself together anymore and I snapped. I broke. This has gone on too long, and it needs to stop. That's all I ask, for sanity's sake, let it be. At this point, the sight of you alone makes my knees weak like hinges on an old basement door. I know that at this point, there is no healing from all of the hurt you've caused me. I'm always going to be lightheaded when I pass you, it's never going to change, it's never going to be easier. So it just needs to stop... here and now, before it gets worse than that. I've done nothing to you, and I truly hold nothing against you. We used to be so close, but by now, you just enjoy going out of your way to make my life as hard as possible. You alone, have killed my confidence and motivation, and my drive. I used to be so motivated in everything. My heart races at the thought of talking to you, and my mentality snaps when I'm in the same room as you. I can't look at you without breaking into tears. You have taken everything from me ... my confidence, my focus, the relationships I had with people that I cared about. I'm never going to get that all the way back, and I know that. But I need this to end, I can't let it get worse, because you've driven me to a breaking point that I'm about to fall off of when I decide I can't do it anymore.