closed, but not locked

congratulations, the door is finally closed. i have loved you forever, but i have to draw a line somewhere.

blocked friday morning.

unblocked just to fight, with the most hurtful shit, then blocked again.

texted my best friend and then blocked her too.

then your best friend followed me on 2 of my socials that same day, and i still accepted them.

you tried to call me late that night, but kept me blocked, until you finally unblocked me and just didn't respond.

this morning, i woke up to an unsent text from you and then blocked. a few hours later, another multiple paragraphs from her, that she had entirely gotten wrong.

so congratulations... you won't hear from me.

whenever you decide to talk to me, you know how to reach me. but until then, i will remain adamant that i did not cheat.

you left me. i stayed.

you left me. i stayed.

you left me. i stayed.

again, and again, and again.

i waited, again and again, and again.

it wasn't until recently when i started to distract myself, because i wondered if you would ever truly stay and want me the way i wanted you... and you didn't. all you knew how to do was leave. that's what you have to understand.

so congratulations, you've finally pushed me to closing the door, but i hope you realize how much it took, how much i cried, how much of a literal shell of a person it turns me into. this last day with you, was the last time anyone will see me as myself. and i have to settle for that.

you know how to find me if you want to. but for now i guess .. this is goodbye.